grow a pair.

this post will be short and sweet since it’s been a busy week and i have failed to manage my time properly.

the phrase grow a pair has been synonymous with masculinity; growing a pair of balls, having testosterone and being masculine. it’s supposed to mean being tough. ironically ‘the pair’ are probably the weakest part of the male anatomy. kick a male in the balls and they start crying. not so tough.

i’d like to propose a change to the meaning of the saying. instead of it meaning a pair of testicles, why doesn’t it mean to grow a pair of breast or a pair of fallopian tubes? now those are strong pairs. women breasts are strong a part of the female anatomy that essentially feed life. what’s stronger than being able to give life and be able to feed your child with your body? and fallopian tubes, they hold the limited amount of eggs necessary to start a life. testicles have a limitless amount of sperm, where as women have a limited amount of eggs. they’re essentially treasure boxes within a woman’s body. so i propose a change to the saying ‘grow a pair’; from now on when i use it the saying its going to mean grow a pair of breasts that can feed life, or grow treasure boxes in your body. to me it will no longer be a derogatory term.

some might say this isn’t politalk but women’s rights are a political issue. derogatory terms used to make men seem stronger and minimize women, are a political issue. in order to take a step towards equality among the sexes, we need to start changing our vocabulary and the way we define strength among women and men. so grow a pair and change your language. 

i used to love h.e.r too

as a kid i never really understood poetry. when we had to read and analyze it in school it always frustrated me because poets never just said what they wanted to say. it was full of innuendos and similes and so many other indirect ways of saying things. aint nobody got time for that. i didn't start appreciating poetry until i got older and realized that it was all around me. music is poetry, in particular rap and hip-hop. shout out to my brother and cousins for listening to rap when i was kid. but once i started looking at rap as poetry my whole perception of poetry changed. there was beauty in it. 

one of my favorite raps/poems is common's i used to love h.e.r, released in 1994. its about the change of hip hop during the late 80s and early 90s. if you haven't listened to the song or any of common's music you're missing out. it has to be one of the greatest hip-hop songs of all time. its beautiful, its poetic. common is writing a love letter to hip-hop; about all the changes she's been through and despite all the changes at her purest forms she's beautiful. well at least that's my interpretation of it, you never really know with poetry. in 2010 murs and 9th wonder redid the song, i used to love h.e.r (again). again if you haven't listened to murs and 9th wonder you're missing out. their collaboration is one of my favorite things to have happened in hip-hop. grossly under-appreciated. they took the song and adapted it to the time and the changes that were going on in hip-hop 16 years after common wrote his song. like other forms of poetry rap and hip-hop are an ever changing landscape. each artist is experiencing something different and each generation has something different to say. and that’s what i used to love h.e.r represents; an ode to the changes hip-hop has gone through.

a couple of years ago, i too decided to dabble in the remixing of i used to love h.e.r. and here is my appropriation of the song. its titled i used to love h.e.r too and it was written years ago on 2/10/11.

i met this girl, when i was told 10 years old

And what i loved, she had so much soul

i’m sorry to say that i’m not that girl anymore.

i aint straight out of compton not even from 8 miles away

i don’t got 99 problems or a record

i’m just a kid from the burbs spitting my game

born in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of

headed towards the wild west with attitude and did it doggy style

rolled out to the atl where the playas play and parties don’t stop til 8 in the morning

and now I’m chillin in dorm rooms loving college

i aint dropping out of college like ‘nye

but don’t get me wrong, i still have no idea what i’m doing in college

that major i majored in don’t make money.

you say i lost my flow, the poetry

that i’ve lost my afrocentricty

but what’s with all the homies trying to get it just wright on the big screen

why we running on and lending our flava to vh1

you just have me asking are we done yet?

now i know this isn’t ghetto gospel

but you can still see me at the house parties.

you say it’s all party and bull shit

you can’t deny that this shit still hypnotizes you

and gets your money maker shaking like a polaroid picture.

they say i’m just not the same anymore

that you miss her, the creative chick

i miss her too

but don’t forget i’m still the best you’ll ever have.

thank you for reading; i’ve never really shared any of my poetry with anyone.

diy: homemade humble birthday cards

birthday cards can be pretty pricey. i'm looking at you papyrus. so why not save yourself a couple of bucks and make your own.

all you'll need is:

• scrap booking paper, any design. pick something that fits the person's personality. (tip: i buy mine at michael's when they're on sale for cheap; $.12 compared to $.59.)
• scrap of colored paper.
• regular scissors and craft scissors.
• glue and tape.
• ruler.
• pens to write your greetings. 
• glitter glue (if you have any)
• an old picture of whoever's birthday it is. the more embarrassing the better. (i picked an old school picture of my now 15 year old cousin in which she does not look pleased. )

how to:

• cut your card-stock paper into a rectangle. since the picture i used was 4x6in, my rectangle was 7x12in. size can very depending on how big you want the card or how big the picture is. 
• fold the rectangle in half ('hamburger style'), so it makes a 6x7in card. 
• using the scrap of color paper make a thought bubble with a clever/witty saying. (my card was late so i wrote 'you do know this card is late, right?!')
• use a strand of tape to tape the thought bubble to the picture. i taped them together from behind, not directly on top of the picture.
• as decoration i cut a strand of the scrap paper using craft scissors to taped it to the picture. since half of the caption was outside the picture i thought the decorative strap would even things out. 
• now glue or tape the picture (w/ thought bubble and decorative strand) to the center of the card.
• then use glitter glue to decorate the strand. to continue decorating the remainder of the card, cut out a variety of small shapes to decorate the rest of the card. i used yellow triangles to decorate the other side of the card. i scattered them and then proceeded to glue away. 
• now using white or colored paper cut a smaller rectangle that will go on the inside of the card for the greeting. i used a 'aztec' craft scissor to do so.  
• write a greeting on the card: happy birthday!, congrats on being born! , etc. (tip: if you don't like your penmanship you can write the greeting on a word document and then print it out.) 
• glue the greeting into the center of the inside of the card.
• cut more triangles or any shape and glue along the side of the cards to decorate.
• one everything is glued/taped on,  use glitter glue to tastefully decorate the card. i drew dots along the strip and decorated some of the triangles along one side. 
• and voila you have a homemade humble birthday card just as good of better than your average store bought card!

the front

inside of card

this idea would be great for any occasion. picking the most ridiculous picture of them and reminding them of their not so greatest moments. it'll keep them humble when they're being showered with gifts and being praised. aha! and this is how i got the name for this project. i plan on using this idea again come graduation season!

it's a bird. it's a plane. it's an undocumented immigrant.

oh look, a foreigner play an american icon. 

about a year ago i was watching a documentary about superman, look, up in the sky! the amazing story of superman. yes, i'm that girl. but to my defense i've been obsessed with the man of steel since i was a kid. you see, i had the pleasure of growing up with boys, who were all obsessed with superheros. (don't even get me started on x-men. rogue and gambit 4eva. they were my otp before i even knew what otps were.) it was also probably the hair. i have a thing for men’s hair. or maybe it was the fact that he was the ‘all- american’ boy who had extraordinary power. he grew up in kansas, on a farm; i mean how much more classic americana can you get. as you might guess i also have a thing for americana. whatever it was, superman/clark kent/kal-el and I have been tight since we were kids.

an interesting point that the documentary brought up was that superman was an immigrant. he wasn't from the states, or even from this planet. he was a bit of an outsider because of it. despite it all, he managed to be metropolis' hero and the ‘all-american’ hero to countless boys across the states and even the world. to understand this you should know that, jerry and joe, were children of jewish immigrants who often felt like they didn't fit into their ‘all-american’ surroundings growing up. they felt like outsiders, just like kal-el did. they romanticized their emotions/experiences and made superman. i had stored this information in the back of my mind for when i would potentially come across someone who loved superman but was so blatantly anti-immigration; it was going to be my closing argument. it wasn't until last week when thinkprogress wrote an article that touched on the matter that I felt the need to write about it.

let's start with his name, kal-el. it obviously didn’t sound ‘american’. imagine how many teachers growing up would have butchered that. so his parent re-named him clark kent, something that was easier to pronounce and very american (in fact jerry and joe got the name clark kent from combining clark gable and kent taylor, two american film icons they grew up with). this is something that i saw all the time growing up. i grew up in a suburb outside of LA that was mostly half hispanic and half asian. a lot of my asian friends had chinese and vietnamese names that most couldn't pronounce. they saw that their birth names made them different and they began adopting english names like sarah or ryan. it wasn't that they were embarrassed it was just that they didn't want to stand out. they wanted to fit in and it was their way of assimilating. i saw it a lot in the hispanic culture as well. my uncle was named pedro but i only ever heard my grandparents call him that. to everyone else he was peter. he changed his name to something that was more american friendly, so he  could fit in when he immigrated to the states at a young age. a cousin of mine was given the name esteban after his grandfather, but goes by steve; showtime’s weeds did the same thing with nancy’s youngest boy. it’s something that millions of people do across the country to feel less left out; they have a desire to fit in and do so by sounding more american and so some often change their name when introducing themselves to others. clark's parents did so that he wouldn't feel left out, so that he would acclimate to his new home better.   

although superman is an american icon, he's still an undocumented immigrant. he came to this country with no papers. he came to this country in a rocket disguised as an asteroid. it is no different than people coming to this country illegal through cargo from overseas or from 18-wheelers from south of the border. the difference is that kal-el became a beloved superhero. no one ever asked to see his birth certificate cause he was too busy saving the world. if only that type of behavior held up today (i'm looking at you 'birthers'). but the thing is that many undocumented immigrants come to this country illegally without a say because their parents thought it'd be best for them, just like kal-el's parents did; they too want to be heroes but can't. they want to be doctors and lawyers and teachers, but they can't because they can't get the financial aid to help them or even if they do manage to come up with the funds their degree wouldn’t be valid. this is something that i see all the time. why was superman given the aid to go to college and become a report, cause let's be real his struggling family farm probably couldn't have paid for the whole thing, but kids now a day’s aren't given the same treatment?  or why wasnt he being harassed and deported, like many young people are being today? its because he exemplifies americana but not in the way you might think seeing that he's small town kid from kansas who grew up on a farm and became a report. it’s because he was an immigrant who came to this country and became something of himself. he's the american dream.

on a side note many have complained that an american isn’t playing superman in man of steel, since superman is an american hero and all. but its fitting and ironic all at once that a foreigner with really good hair is playing kal-el/clark kent/superman.

opening day: america’s unofficial holiday

few things are more beautiful than this...

i got into baseball at an early age. out of all the sports my brother and cousin’s played growing up it was the easiest to understand. the catcher catches. the pitcher pitches. the first baseman stands at first base. the most difficult position to understand is probably shortstop, who plays between second and third since most right handed players hit grounders into that area. it’s simply and i think that’s what makes it so special. anyone can understand the rules and people of all ages can play, whether its t-ball, little league, minor leagues, major leagues, softball leagues, or just catch with their children. the outcome of a game can change with just one swing. and october brings the best out of the sport and its players. after the horrific attacks of 9/11, it was the game that helped heal NYC a little and it was done by mike piazza’s swing and mr. october himself derek jeter. it’s a beautiful game.

so in honor of opening day, i’ll list 5 of my favorite baseball movies:

1. the sandlot: if you didn’t want to be him or were madly in love with benny ‘the jet’ rodriguez than your pants are on fire cause you my friend are a liar. growing up it was apparently the only movie teachers at my school owned, but i wasn’t complaining. the more i watched it the more i fell in love with it. it was a story of friendship (the sandlot crew are my brotp) and a coming of age story. it taught kids how to face their fear and most importantly how to get a lifeguard to kiss you. plus it made me never want to chew tobacco in my life. and who doesn’t love an appearance from the ‘sultan of swat’ ‘the king of crash’ ‘the colossus of clout’ ‘the great bambino’ telling benny to be great: "let me tell you something kid; everybody gets on chance to do something great. most people never take the chance, either because they’re too scared, or they don’t recognize it when it spits on their shoes.” it has sequels but like the bring it on series, only watch the first one.
2. league of their own: a fierce group of women who love the game and are recruited to play ball for an all women league kick ass and take names. it has an eclectic cast that includes tom hanks, rosie o’donnell, geena davis and madonna. the reason why I love this film is because of the strong female leads, who despite the odds play the game they love and play it well. they don’t fall into the stereotypical rolls of women during that time and even if they did it isn’t looked at as a bad thing because its their choice. the important thing is that they live life how they want to live it. i think it’s important not just for young girls to see but for everyone to see. 
3. field of dreams: an iowan farmer has a dream in which he’s told that “if you build, he will come.” he builds a baseball diamond in the middle of his corn field despite losing profit because of it. committed and determined to find out who he is, kevin costnar’s character goes on a journey that serves as little history lesson on the ‘black sox’ scandal and spend time with a former player that left the game for another love. its charming and heart-wrenching when he comes. fun fact: the field used for filming still exists, so if find yourself near dyersville, iowa make a pit stop.
4. fever pitch: you might hate the red sox (and i wouldn’t blame you cause i’m still bitter over nomah being traded in 04. but if he made amends i guess i should too.), but you can't hate the dedication and commitment jimmy fallon’s character has for his team. i understand it. i think it does a fabulous job at showing what a fan is; to be fully invested during the summer and early fall but then it leaves you. you get a taste of it during winter meetings and then you being to smell the freshly cut grass in february when players start reporting for spring training. and then finally it starts up again. it takes a lot to be a baseball fan. as angelo bartlett giamatti wrote in his book, take time for paradise: americans and their games “[baseball] breaks your heart. it is designed to break your heart. the game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall all alone. you count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops.” i feel this quote exemplifies the love of the game shown in the film. plus it was filmed at the best possible time ever, when the sox were in the race for the pennant and eventually won. it was like the baseball gods looking down on the film. maybe the cubs should invest in producing a film too.
5. 42: it isn't even out and i have yet to see it but i already know its going to be one of my favorites. the story of a great american hero who despite the odds and bigotry he faced he achieved greatness. his story helped open up the door for players of all race and ethnicity to play professionally. he was made an icon through it all. its a similar fate the first out athlete in the states will face. i can't wait for the films release.   

these are some of my favorites because they showcase the love of the game and the impact it can have on our lives. they essentially show the power of baseball. the game is a powerful, magical experience and i will never understand why people don’t love it or why opening day isn’t a national holiday. i mean whats more american than beer, hot dogs, baseball and yelling obscenities to everyone from the fan of an opposing team to the players themselves? plus its an excuse to day drink. i guess more people need to experience a walk off grand slam in extra innings by the home team when they were down by three. thank you russell martin. it’s  honestly a thing of beauty.